Bill Murray has the Pebble Beach Pro-Am; Kevin Hart has the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game. The 5’2” Hart has made this event into his own showcase. He accosts refs, has won the game’s MVP Award in back-to-back years, has yelled at Dikembe Mutombo and defeated Usain Bolt in a foot race.
Hart and his coach James Harden’s West team crushed the East 58-38 in a clearly unfair matchup of teams. Basically, this was a matchup of two teams where one was “much more serious,” according to East team loser, Usain Bolt.
He also called opposing coach Russell Westbrook’s pants one of the “top two worst pair of pants I’ve seen in my life.”
Hart lost the opening tip-off to Josh Hutcherson who is listed as 5’7” but there’s no way that is an accurate number. Hutcherson looks 5’4”.
Usain Bolt had a nice dunk, after taking about nine steps and not being called for traveling, but a dunk nonetheless. E! News’ Terrence Jenkins, U.S. Secretary of Education and former Australian League Basketball player Arne Duncan and the high motor of ESPN Radio’s Ryen Rusillo helped Hart win that second consecutive MVP trophy.
Kevin Hart only scored five points, coming up a bit short of the quintuple-double he predicted before the game.
Here are some other things that I learned from the 2013 NBA Celebrity All-Star Game:
- Who knew layups were hard to make?
- Ne-Yo looks odd without a hat on.
- The West having one of the best active WNBA players, Maya Moore, probably wasn’t too fair.
- Ryen Rusillo’s bald spot is worse than we thought. But we’re all on #TeamRusillo.
- Arne Duncan was robbed for a second straight year for the MVP. Kevin Hart is funnier anyways.
- Josh Hutcherson took the game really seriously and has a 1950s-looking jump shot. (He had 11 points on 3 three-pointers)
- I’m convinced that Dikembe probably does slap things away from random people and give them the finger wag in his free time.
Also, for my take on all things, be sure to follow me on Twitter, @Jonathan_Biles.